


blood moon

by aquarius_galuxy



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: CLAMPkink, M/M, Mutilation, redemption fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23546131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquarius_galuxy/pseuds/aquarius_galuxy
Summary: When they were fourteen, the young master of the Suwa clan chose a lowly servant to be his mate. What Kurogane doesn't know, and what Fai discovers, is that Kurogane wears a curse: On every full moon night, Kurogane will rut with his mate regardless. Come morning, he will not remember his actions of the night before.Because Fai is a mere servant, unworthy of Kurogane's status, the elders choose to silence him. They lock him away in the furthest wing, to be fed and clothed for Kurogane's use every month.Six years later, Kurogane stumbles upon a mute blond during an inspection of the clan compounds. This is their story.Warning for noncon, mutilation.
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite/Kurogane
Comments: 8
Kudos: 97





	blood moon

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to this clampkink prompt, but with a couple of deviations:  
> http://clampkink.dreamwidth.org/1785.html?thread=1794041#cmt1794041
> 
> This was written very quickly and not edited at all, so apologies for typos, wrong words, etc.

It's a chilly winter morning when Fai steps into the Suwa clan compound for the very first time. Fresh snow crunches beneath his threadbare shoes; it's gusting out, and the wind bites his exposed skin. He hurries after the woman who bought him from the merchant and bows his head in gratitude when she shows him his quarters.  
  
At least, that's shelter from the terrible cold. He's sharing the room with seven other servants who give him lukewarm greetings. That's okay, too. It's far better than walking miles upon miles of dirt roads, until his feet bruise and his bones ache from sleeping on the dirt ground. He has a bed now.  
  
The servant's life isn't quite so bad. Fai gets a couple of meals every day, he gets food and shelter, and the blanket is almost warm around him at night.  
  
He slips out of the servants' quarters one summer evening and sees the orphaned young master practicing his sword forms. Kurogane is his name. Fai has served him in passing—a solemn young man Fai's age. Kurogane hardly ever looks at the servants, so intent is he on his studies and swords and everything that Fai can't possibly hope to understand.  
  
He likes to watch, though. Sometimes he imagines himself in Kurogane's shoes, sometimes he wonders what it's like to hold a sword and wave it around, and not have to scrub the floors or wash the outhouses. Fai thinks maybe he'd be bored. Or maybe he'd get to dance around. He daydreams. He leans against the wooden pillar and imagines talking to Kurogane, and maybe Kurogane would teach him how to hold a sword.  
  
Somehow, Fai's weight shifts. He tumbles forward—an ungraceful movement in the shadows—and the young master looks up from his sword practice. Kurogane's gaze is sharp, prickling. He says something to the clan elder with him—Fai doesn't know what. But the elder looks at Fai, and his frown deepens.  
  
Unnerved, Fai scurries back to the servants' quarters before they throw him out.  
  
.  
  
Two weeks later on a full-moon night, when the compounds are dead silent, Fai pads out into the back garden. It's amazing on a cloudless night—the moon illuminates everything in a silver glow, and Fai can even see his shadow. He slips along the pebbled path and admires the moon's reflection in the koi pond, and secretly, he's glad for this turn in his luck. He hasn't been so fortunate to have food in his belly and a bed to sleep in, even if the hard work makes all his muscles ache.  
  
He's about to cross the bridge over the water when something prickles his skin. A presence. When he turns, he finds the young master staring at him, dressed in his night clothes. Fai's heart stops—he's not supposed to be enjoying the garden.  
  
He curtsies and bows his head, hoping to excuse himself. "I'm sorry, my lord," he murmurs.  
  
Lord Kurogane doesn't reply. He prowls forward, eyes dark—almost like an animal. He smells different, too. Not like the soap or sweat scents, but something else. Something dark and earthier.  
  
Paces away from Fai, when Fai thinks maybe they'll have a conversation instead, the lord lunges.  
  
For a fourteen-year-old, Kurogane is a lot stronger than Fai is. Well-fed, growing muscles, his instincts trained to fight.  
  
He slams Fai down against the bridge; pain bursts through Fai's body. He yelps and tries to crawl away, but the lord pins him face-down, and their bodies press together in a rough slide. Cold at first, then warmer, when a hard line pushes against Fai's ass through their clothes.  
  
"My lord?" Fai gasps, confused.  
  
Kurogane doesn't answer. He growls and pushes their bodies together again—Fai knows a little bit about erections. He has a cock. Sometimes he wakes up hard, and it feels good when he touches it.  
  
And there's no question what Kurogane's shoving against his bottom. He squirms away, scared and bewildered. "Lord...?"  
  
Kurogane slams him back down against the wooden planks and scrabbles against Fai's sleeping pants, until he catches the waistband and rips it down, exposing Fai's ass. The night air is cold. Fai doesn't know what to make of this, the young master looking at his bottom. He struggles onto all fours and tries to crawl across the bridge, except Kurogane wraps his arms around Fai and forces him back down. This time, there's something blunt pushing between Fai's cheeks, something thick and hungry. It's wet at the tip and slippery-smooth.  
  
Fear shoots down Fai's spine. That can't go inside him. He doesn't know why. It just can't.  
  
Kurogane shoves his cock between Fai's cheeks, right against that opening that Fai knows not to talk about. Fai panics.  
  
"No, please," he says. It can't possibly fit.  
  
Kurogane doesn't answer even then. He shoves Fai down and forces his tip right up against Fai's sensitive entrance, and he pushes so hard that Fai yields beneath him, his body opening, Kurogane's cock penetrating him. It burns. It's an invasive pressure, going deeper, pulling out, plunging back inside. Fai cries out as Kurogane stretches him open where no one has touched before, horrified and afraid.  
  
His body responds, somehow. Heat swoops between his legs, and his own cock grows half hard.  
  
Kurogane slams into him, his teeth sinking into Fai's shoulder, his breath puffing onto Fai's skin, and all Fai can see are the stark lines of the bridge's planks in the moonlight. All he can smell is dark earth, and all he can feel is Kurogane moving inside him, deeper and harder, until the burn goes away and Kurogane’s thrusts grow uneven.  
  
Kurogane comes inside him with a snarl, his nails digging into Fai, his teeth breaking Fai's skin.  
  
He holds there for a few moments. As much as Fai doesn't want to, he becomes aware of the heat flooding through the lower half of his body. From Kurogane. He bites his lip and tries not to cry. He doesn't want this. It's not... what he expected Kurogane to do to him.  
  
Kurogane pulls out soon after. He turns and leaves, and Fai curls up on the bridge, his body used, his dignity gone.  
  
.  
  
The next morning, Kurogane doesn't recognize him at all.  
  
Fai doesn't want to see the young master. He's too ashamed to. But he's tasked with taking Kurogane's tea to him in his bedroom, and he makes himself do it. His hands tremble. His heart pounds. He knocks on the sliding door, trying to prepare for the inevitable violation again.  
  
Kurogane glances briefly at him and points him to the side table. Fai sets the tray down, all his senses ringing with alarm. He expects Kurogane to follow him out, he expects Kurogane to strip him bare.  
  
But nothing happens.  
  
Fai shuts the door behind himself and hurries back to the kitchens, and he's shaking all over. He doesn't stop shaking for hours.  
  
.  
  
Kurogane says nothing the next day, and nothing for the whole of the next week. Fai almost thinks maybe the young master has forgotten about him, when the door to the servants' room slams open three weeks later.  
  
The servants all startle awake, Fai especially. And he recognizes the silvery moonlight streaming through the doorway, he recognizes the silhouette that prowls toward him.  
  
Fai scrambles backward, his voice stuck in his throat. Someone lights a lamp.  
  
Kurogane's eyes are ink-dark, his pupils dilated so wide that he looks like an animal.  
  
"No, please," Fai begs, his back hitting the wall. The bed creaks when Kurogane lunges and lands. He's ripping Fai's clothes off his body, he's turning Fai around, ass-up, his own cock pushing between Fai's cheeks faster than Fai can even breathe.  
  
The servants watch in shocked silence. Fai tries to crawl away. Kurogane pins him down, he's forcing his thick cock into Fai again, and Fai's body obeys him, it's taking Kurogane inside, growing hard.  
  
Kurogane's cock violates him, hard and rough, slamming into him, forcing Fai open, forcing him to take every single inch. Fai covers his eyes, begging him to stop. Kurogane's cock pumps into him mercilessly, an unyielding thickness tainting him inside, and all Fai can do is shake his head, his voice breaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't ask for this. Kurogane continues to stretch him apart.  
  
People talk. Someone tries to stop Kurogane. But no one dares to touch the young master for fear of their own lives.  
  
Someone hurries out of the servants' quarters. The rest of the servants witness the unraveling of Fai's grace, the secret he's been trying so hard to hide. The only sound Fai hears is the slap of their hips, the unmistakable sound of Kurogane shredding any respect Fai has scrounged up.  
  
Then other people step into the room, and Kurogane roars, pounding hard into Fai, his warmth flooding Fai all over again.  
  
When he pulls out, Fai collapses into the bed, humiliated by his own hard cock, the way it strains even though he didn't want any of this. He pulls his clothes back up over himself. And then he sees the clan elders in the room, their expressions damning.  
  
"Kurogane," one of them says.  
  
As though they didn't exist, Kurogane walks out, his cock still glistening, jutting upright, come trailing down its underside. And the elders glance at Fai with varying levels of disgust on their faces.  
  
Fai quails. But not before one of the elders orders a servant to take Fai somewhere else in the compound.  
  
.  
  
They cut his tongue off.  
  
.  
  
Fai spends the next weeks in pain, recovering, trying not to think about the blood or the rape or the humiliation. The only consolation is that the elders have locked him into a distant wing in the compounds. Twice a day, someone brings him food—better than he had, not that he can eat much with a stump of a tongue left.  
  
He overhears the servants sometimes, and one of the kinder women tells him what happened.  
  
The Suwas are a clan descended from a wolf god. Rarely, on full moon nights, a clan leader will be possessed, driven by a need to breed with their chosen mate until the birth of a first child. That, or they will breed until they bind their blood and lives.  
  
Fai is a servant. For that reason, he has been deemed unworthy to be a suitor for the young master. And so his sole purpose has changed: he now exists to serve Kurogane every full moon, until Kurogane finds a better suitor.  
  
Slowly, the servants stop talking to Fai. All the human contact he gets is when someone delivers food to his bedroom—a gilded cage with a big bed, because that is where Kurogane will sate his desire every month.  
  
Fai discovers a half-used box of paints in the room. Then he finds some scraps of paper, and he begins to paint. It helps to fill the dreary days with only himself for company—whenever a clan elder visits, Fai slips his paintings away, hiding them.  
  
They've taken away his freedom and his speech. He can't let them have anything else.  
  
Some weeks later, on the next full moon night, Kurogane returns.  
  
Fai is ready for him this time. The servants draw the sliding doors open, and the young master bounds in. Fai doesn't even look at him. He lays face-down on the bed, naked, and waits for Kurogane to mount him, he waits for Kurogane to thrust inside and violate all his most intimate parts.  
  
Kurogane comes inside him. Like the two previous times, he leaves, never to be heard from for the next month. He's so much like an animal—so far from what Fai knew of him, that Fai can't help but think this is who the Suwa lord really is. A monster.  
  
Because of Kurogane and his clan elders, Fai can't sleep soundly at nights, he can't stand the smell of dark earth, and the musk of sex. He doesn't want to have anything to do with that man.  
  
Fai decides that he hates the young master, too.  
  
.  
  
Fai spends his twentieth birthday painting himself a flying bird. It's bitterly ironic. He now has everything he once dreamed of—a full belly, a roof over his head, decent clothes. He has more painting supplies, he has a drawer full of years' worth of paintings, he has the ability to paint faster than anything.  
  
But he's so lonely.  
  
No one ever visits this wing of the compound. No one even comes here save for the servants. Sometimes Fai hears the children playing in the yard outside, and he thinks about forcing open the bolted doors, he thinks about poking a hole through the rice paper windows and maybe talking to someone.  
  
But he's done that once before. The clan elders sent the servant boy away, and his mother cried for days. Fai can't bring himself to do that to anyone else.  
  
So he sits as far away from the bed as he can, paints intricate details into the bird's wings, and wishes himself a happy birthday. Or a decent birthday, at least. One he wishes he deserves.  
  
It's quiet outside. Sometime later, voices sound from the other side of the building. Fai lies on the floor and listens to them approaching. Footsteps thud on the walkway outside this row of rooms. Then a voice—low, deep, rumbling. Familiar.  
  
It can't be the young master. Fai doesn't know what exactly Kurogane sounds like when he speaks—it's been a while since he heard it. These days, all Fai hears are grunts and roars and snarls before Kurogane leaves.  
  
Someone stops outside his door—a broad-shouldered silhouette. Fai recognizes it in a second, and his stomach drops.  
  
It hasn't been a month yet. It isn't the full moon tonight.  
  
"What is this room barricaded?" the young master asks.  
  
_Don't you know?_ Fai struggles to breathe. His hand shakes as he shoves his paintings aside. But before he can put away his palette, the door opens.  
  
Fai scrambles halfway across the room, as far from the door as he can, his heart pounding in his ears. He isn't ready for this. He needs to put away his thoughts, he needs to hide how fucking scared Kurogane makes him.  
  
The young master of Suwa freezes in the doorway. Fai feels the sweep of his heavy gaze, he feels the electricity of Kurogane's attention locking onto him. Fai wants it to be night, he wants all the other servants to go away. He doesn't need more witnesses.  
  
"Who are you?" the young master asks.  
  
Through the ringing in his ears, Fai hears the question. He freezes up. A million words crowd into his mouth, stuck on the stump of his tongue with no way to reach his lips.  
  
_You don't know who I am? How could you not?_  
  
It's been six years. Month after month of being pinned down, Kurogane forcing himself inside every full moon. Fai knows the weight of Kurogane's body, he knows the scent of Kurogane's skin.  
  
And Kurogane doesn't even know who he is.  
  
"Answer me," the young master says.  
  
_I would if I could._ Fai splays his hands on his lap, palms up, feeling helpless. Is Kurogane going to pin him if he doesn't answer?  
  
The lord strides into Fai's bedroom, sharp eyes scanning over everything—all of Fai's meager belongings. The palette, the fallen paintbrush. And the too-large bed.  
  
Copper-red eyes lock back onto Fai. "Why are you here? Why have I not known about you before this?"  
  
The questions dig under Fai's skin. This is all Kurogane's fault, and he doesn't fucking know it.  
  
"What is your name?" Kurogane asks next.  
  
Fai just wants him to go away. He thinks about ignoring the young master, but he doesn't know if Kurogane will destroy him the next time full moon rolls around. He thinks about speaking, letting Kurogane hear his garbled words. But he doesn't want to show Kurogane the stump of his tongue.  
  
He pulls out a sheet of paper and a fallen paintbrush, and writes _Fai._ At least he knows how to write his name.  
  
The man stares at the word. "Fai," he says.  
  
Fai looks away. It doesn't feel intimate, or magical, or whatever a mate saying your name should feel like. He just feels a cold chill in his chest.  
  
Kurogane walks around him. He glimpses the corner of the bird painting Fai was too late to hide, pulling it out from under the bed. Fai flushes and looks away. That's just cruel. He's no more a free bird than he was before. Because of this man.  
  
"You painted this?" Kurogane asks.  
  
_Do you see anyone else here?_ is what Fai wants to say. But all he does is nod.  
  
"It's beautiful."  
  
Fai stares. Blinks. He thinks he might've heard wrong. Kurogane, paying him a compliment? A monster shouldn't do that.  
  
Something must've shown on his face, because Kurogane asks, "You understand me, right?"  
  
Fai nods. He thinks about giving the lord a rude gesture, but there'll be little reward for it.  
  
Kurogane stares at him for a long moment. Thoughtful. "Do you have more paintings?"  
  
Fai glances at his bed. His stash is there. He doesn't want Kurogane to look, but Kurogane crouches, reaching beneath the mattress. And he pulls out a stack of the watercolors—images of all the things Fai has seen. Beautiful sunsets. Children playing in the fields. The majestic palace in the city.  
  
The lord is silent for a long time, flipping through the paintings. Then he tucks them back under Fai's mattress and straightens—he's tall.  
  
Fai doesn't trust him at all. But he's been more civil today than the whole of the last six years put together.  
  
Maybe Kurogane really doesn't remember.  
  
Which is the real him, then?  
  
As Kurogane turns to leave, he says, "I'll be back tomorrow."  
  
Fai's stomach tightens into a knot.  
  
Kurogane watches him, frowning. But he doesn't say a word, just turns and leaves, and shuts the door behind him. The servants hurry to put the locks back in place.  
  
It's only then, when his overwhelming presence is gone, when Fai can't hear his footsteps anymore, that he collapses onto his side, curling into a ball.  
  
Kurogane has found him. Fai just wants Kurogane far away, he wants Kurogane never to touch him again.  
  
Fai buries his face in his hands, and sobs.  
  
.  
  
That terrified face haunts Kurogane all the way back to the main buildings of the compounds.  
  
Who is that man? Why is he hidden away with the servants? How has he not known of Fai's existence until now?  
  
Everything about this is wrong—the fear in those stark blue eyes, the beautiful robes draped around the man's slender body, and that bed... no servant should have a bed that large, the exact same size Kurogane's own bed is.  
  
He confronts his grandfather about the mysterious servant. His grandfather doesn't look surprised at all.  
  
"He serves as a temporary substitute," the man says.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
Kurogane doesn't. "What should I be remembering?"  
  
"You chose him as a mate. You will choose another."  
  
"What? When?" The sick feeling in Kurogane's gut intensifies. Vaguely, he remembers a servant from years back, a slight boy with a shock of blond hair. Kurogane thought they'd sent him away.  
  
"Surely you recall," says his grandfather.  
  
Kurogane remembers, somehow, the scent of soap-washed skin and the sounds of faint moaning. "Why have you never told me about him?"  
  
His grandfather stares at him for a while. "We didn't have to. Your body knows."  
  
Kurogane has heard whispers about a legend. That sometimes, the leaders of his clan go into ruts on the full moon. He's heard that those ruts won't end until the clan leader blood-bonds with his chosen, or they birth a child.  
  
He's always thought it was merely that—a myth. It's never occurred to him to track his movements on nights when the moon hangs like a silver coin in the sky.  
  
And maybe... That explains the fear in Fai's gaze. When he saw Kurogane, when Kurogane walked toward him.  
  
A sick, terrible feeling coalesces in Kurogane's gut. He can't go to that man now. He'd promised to go tomorrow.  
  
And if that legend were true... What has he been doing to Fai all these years? Have the elders been keeping this a secret from him for all this time?  
  
Kurogane stalks out of the clan compounds, horrified and disgusted with himself. It might not be true. He'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.  
  
To force himself away from the servants' quarters, he goes into town and finds the best paints and brushes and papers his money can buy. He has them bundled up in wax paper, all nicely, and he brings that back with him to the compounds.  
  
Then, he waits. The candle burns bit by bit, slowly receding to every line that marks an hour. Kurogane doesn't sleep that night.  
  
The next morning, he goes alone to Fai's room, and knocks on the door. "It's me," he says. "Can I come in?"  
  
Behind the door, Fai scrambles. Something crashes onto the floor.  
  
Belatedly, Kurogane realizes that Fai has no way to answer him. "Knock on something once if I can't. Knock twice if I can enter."  
  
It's a long time before Fai even taps on anything, and it's so quiet that Kurogane thinks he might've imagined it. He's about to leave, when there comes a second tap.  
  
He unbolts the lock and slides away the plank holding the doors shut. Then he pushes the door carefully open, looking in.  
  
Fai's behind the bed, the sheets wrapped tight around himself. He's so scared that Kurogane can see the whites of his eyes. Kurogane's stomach twists.  
  
He steps carefully into the room, one hand on the door. "Should I close this?"  
  
Fai nods, once. Then he looks away.  
  
Kurogane closes the door behind himself. Then, before he steps further into the room, he says, "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise."  
  
Fai eyes him warily. Kurogane doesn't move closer. He sets the parcels down by the door. "I brought something for you. As a gift."  
  
The blond stares at the parcels, then back at Kurogane.  
  
There's no way to break gently into this discussion. So Kurogane says. "I've wronged you, haven't I?"  
  
Fai looks away, but he doesn't answer.  
  
Kurogane closes his eyes, fury and disgust welling up in his chest. He should've known. He should've locked himself up instead of doing whatever he did to Fai. He should've been aware of this in the first place.  
  
"I'm sorry," Kurogane says. "I know it can't seem like much. I'll do anything to make up for it."  
  
Fai looks at the flying bird painting still on the floor, and Kurogane realizes—that Fai has been trapped here for years. And that he has the power to set Fai free.  
  
Except... his instincts say that's the wrongest thing he can do.  
  
His instincts have chosen Fai as his mate. He can't let Fai go. "I'll remove the locks on your door," Kurogane says. "You'll have freedom to roam the compounds. But you can't leave."  
  
Bitterness crosses Fai's features; Kurogane knows he's done the wrong thing. "Look, I just need a chance to make things right," Kurogane says. "I don't expect much from you. But give me a chance. I'll be back tomorrow."  
  
Deep down, he knows that the moment he sets Fai free, Fai will never return. That unnerves Kurogane. He doesn't even know why.  
  
He leaves the bedroom, and he leaves the lock open, he carries the plank away from the room. Then he returns to the elders, and gets into a shouting match with them.  
  
The elders disagree that he should let Fai roam. They insist that Kurogane find a match from one of the other reputable clans.  
  
Kurogane tells them to eat their shoes.  
  
.  
  
He returns the next day with some food for Fai. The wax paper packages sit by the door, untouched. Fai hasn't left the bedroom, either.  
  
Kurogane leaves, wondering just how he can fix this mess.  
  
He returns two days later with more food. The packages are still unopened by the door, but the servants have removed any food Fai hasn't touched. Kurogane needs to check with the servants that Fai has been eating. But short of releasing this man... Kurogane doesn't know how to engage him in conversation. He's held discussions with the elders, with the leaders of other clans.  
  
But someone like this? Someone who is delicate and broken and to whom Kurogane owes more than he knows how to measure? Kurogane thinks for a long time. He returns a week later with a painting he did of himself. Fai's still huddled in the sheets—he's been huddling there every time Kurogane comes to speak with him. At the door, Kurogane unrolls the sheet of paper, showing it to Fai. "This is a painting of me," Kurogane says. "I made it. It's nothing like what you can do."  
  
Honestly, it's a fuck-up of a painting. For all that he knows how to handle a sword, Kurogane can't control the flow of ink from a brush enough to draw. He can write with it. But painting eyes the same size, drawing a nose that isn't shaped like a potato, a mouth that doesn't look like some squashed black fruit...  
  
Fai glances at the painting, and his mouth twitches.  
  
That's enough of a reaction. Kurogane leaves the painting with his gifts, and exits the room.  
  
He returns the next week with another painting—this time, it's of the courtyard. The trees look like green splotches and the buildings are vague rectangles and lines, like a child was starting to paint. "This is the courtyard," Kurogane says. "I tried my best."  
  
Fai studies it from across the room, looking thoughtful.  
  
Kurogane leaves the painting with the one of himself, and the wrapped gifts. Then he leaves.  
  
He doesn't visit Fai for two weeks—the moon is waxing, and Kurogane arranges a trip out of town, so far away that it's impossible for him to return in one night. The morning after the full moon, Kurogane wakes up in a ditch, mud all over himself. It's a terrible feeling, knowing that he sleepwalks. That he's hurt Fai horribly when this happens.  
  
He buys silken robes and jade hair combs and brings them back with him, except he doesn't wrap them up this time. "I did a painting on my travels," Kurogane says when he gets back. "This is my steed." It looks like a four-legged creature with a long nose, but that's as close as it gets to a horse. "This is the bridge over one of the largest rivers."  
  
At least, that looks like a bridge, but the colors are wrong. Fai glances at the drawings, with a little less fear in his eyes this time. And maybe Kurogane's making some progress. He leaves his new gifts with the pile next to the door, and takes his leave.

This continues for months. Kurogane shows Fai paintings that he’s done. He leaves them on the pile by the door. Then he leaves, making sure to absent himself from the compounds before the full moon.  
  
One day, he sets up his paints outside Fai's room. Then he paints the view there, waits until the paint dries, and knocks on the door.  
  
Fai taps twice. Kurogane steps in, showing him the painting. "This is of the view from here," Kurogane says. "I'm not getting better."  
  
The blond studies the painting. Then, for the first time since Kurogane started talking to him, Fai reaches out for the sheet of paper. Kurogane hesitates, stepping over carefully. He waits until Fai's got his painting, before backing away.  
  
The tiniest smile crosses Fai's mouth. He smooths out Kurogane's painting on the floor, takes his own brush, and adds details to it—the fine branches of the trees, a rough sketch of a child running, the wind blowing petals into the air. He refines the buildings and the details on the ground, he adds more color to the sky.  
  
He makes Kurogane's child-drawing look like something _good._  
  
"You're very capable," Kurogane blurts.  
  
Like most times, Fai doesn't answer. He looks away, but there's a bit of peace on his face. It means Kurogane has done some to correct his wrongs. Over the visits, Fai has begun to relax more around him. The fear isn't always present now, and sometimes, Fai even smiles.  
  
That's good. Kurogane has all the patience in the world to wait.  
  
Seven months in, Kurogane finally says, "Teach me to paint."  
  
The question comes as a surprise to the blond. Fai looks uncertain. Then, at length, he nods.  
  
Fai's lessons come as short bursts of instruction—no sound, just him holding his brush, showing Kurogane where to paint. Kurogane keeps his distance, he tries his best to follow. Several times, he messes up on trying to draw tree branches. "Everything comes out the same thickness," Kurogane says. "I don't know how you work your magic."  
  
Fai tolerates three more lessons of Kurogane struggling with tree branches. Sometimes, it feels as though the man is laughing at him. Except he finally shuffles over one day, still wrapped in his sheets. Fai slips up next to Kurogane's dominant hand, carefully grips Kurogane's hand in his own—and his touch is warm but firm. Like a man's.  
  
All of Kurogane's instincts say, _Mate_. He can't help sucking in a quick breath. Fai releases him immediately, looking wary.  
  
"I won't do anything but paint," Kurogane says. "You can punch me if I touch you."  
  
Surprise flickers in those blue eyes.  
  
"I'm serious. Go ahead, punch me."  
  
Fai hesitates, but he looks like he's considering it. Kurogane points at his jaw. So Fai swings his arm. His fist connects in a burst of pain. Kurogane hisses.  
  
For a moment, the blond tenses, waiting for Kurogane to strike back. But Kurogane shrugs. "That wasn't so bad. I deserved it."  
  
Fai stares incredulously at his own fist. Then, the spot where he hit Kurogane.  
  
"Want to do that again?" Kurogane asks.  
  
Fai throws another punch. Damn, it hurts. Kurogane rubs his jaw, massaging away the sting. And Fai looks amazed, and still wary. But Kurogane can't walk out of here with several bruises, or Fai will get into trouble.  
  
"Tell you what. Before I go on my trip this time, I'll come visit. You can punch me as many times as you want then. I'll leave before the bruises show up."  
  
Fai looks like he doesn't know if Kurogane is lying, but Kurogane never lies.  
  
"Teach me," Kurogane says again.  
  
When Fai holds Kurogane's hand this time, he isn't quite so wary anymore. He teaches Kurogane to lift the paintbrush, he teaches Kurogane to draw kinks in the boughs. He holds Kurogane's hand long enough that when he releases it, the air is cool, and it feels wrong without his touch.  
  
Fai scrubs his hand on his robes, looking awkward.  
  
When Kurogane leaves this time, Fai follows him halfway across the room. "I'll be back to let you hit me," Kurogane promises.  
  
Fai still looks ever so doubtful.  
  
So Kurogane shows up two weeks later, with no paints or paper. Just himself. Fai's gaze drops to his hands. "I'm leaving for the forests today," Kurogane says. "I won't be back for two weeks. Now is your chance to punch me."  
  
He closes the door behind himself, pointing at his face again. Fai throws a punch. Then he looks angrier, and he throws another punch. Kurogane doesn't bother defending himself. It isn't his right to. He waits while Fai hits him, ten, twenty times. Fai shoves Kurogane down onto the floor and straddles his chest, and he's punching Kurogane into the floorboards, his teeth flashing, his gaze sharp as glass. Kurogane takes every single blow that bashes his skull against the floor.  
  
For the first time, Fai makes a sound. It's not a word. More of a growl. The sound grows louder, rough like it hasn't been used, and Kurogane realizes that Fai's not actually mute.  
  
Fai can speak. Or can't he?  
  
Kurogane endures the sharp punches until Fai stops, until the fight leaves him and his shoulders sag. The blond climbs off Kurogane, pulling the sheets back around himself.  
  
Kurogane hesitates, before asking, "You can speak?"  
  
Fai looks away, pinching his lips tightly shut. He doesn't want to answer.  
  
So Kurogane won't force his hand. He files the sound at the back of his mind, bows, and takes his leave.  
  
.  
  
In the two weeks he's gone, bruises form across his face. Kurogane tells his accompanying men that he got into a fight behind the bar. Someone offers him ointment. By the time he returns to the clan two weeks later, the bruises have almost completely faded.  
  
He brings more gifts back for Fai, things that join the growing pile by the door. Then they begin the next set of drawing lessons.  
  
"What's the difference between these paints?" Kurogane asks one day, showing Fai some bottles he brought back from his latest trip. He sets the bottles in the space between them; Fai opens up the bottles, tests the pigments with soft brush taps on paper. He begins painting with them, looking curious. Then he sniffs at the bottles, and rubs some pigment between his fingers.  
  
Kurogane watches as Fai wipes his fingers off on a rag. Not all of it gets cleaned off, though. Blue smudges across Fai's jaw when he scratches at his face. Fai goes on to fiddle with the paints on paper.  
  
"Hey." Kurogane pauses. "You've got some paint here."  
  
He points at his own jaw. Fai frowns, scrubbing at it—but the paint just smears further. He raises his eyebrows. Kurogane shakes his head. Fai tries again; the smudge gets worse.  
  
"Still there. Here, I'll do it." He pulls out his handkerchief, reaching over. Fai eyes Kurogane's hand warily; it's almost as though he doesn't breathe when Kurogane brushes the pigments off his skin.  
  
"There." Kurogane shows him the trace of blue. "It's gone now."  
  
Wary eyes linger on Kurogane's handkerchief. Then Fai looks back down at his hands, and at the paints, as though he doesn't know how to react.  
  
He's... kind of pretty, actually. Wispy strands of hair frame his face, his skin almost too pale, his eyes a deep sapphire blue. Deep down, Kurogane knows he's noticed this from the very first time they met. Probably years back. He wonders about the softness of Fai's cheek, the dampness of his lips.  
  
He can't touch Fai, not anytime soon. So he drags his attention back to the paints. "You like them?"  
  
Fai shrugs, but he dips his brush back into the paint, mixing it with more water.  
  
The next time Kurogane goes on his full-moon trips, he brings back a full set of paints. Fai doesn't touch them, either, but when Kurogane visits again, he notices that the pigments on the most recent set have been rearranged.  
  
He goes to Fai every couple days. Most days, Fai teaches him how to paint. Sometimes, Kurogane asks about paints, or he asks Fai to draw something. He doesn't know how to bridge this gap between them, not without doing the wrong thing. Does he want to pursue Fai? His instincts say he should. His conscience says he shouldn't. Either way, he can't let the blond go.  
  
So he leaves it up to Fai, and waits.  
  
.  
  
Fai gets used to this new normal. The young lord who comes to speak with him, the young lord who doesn't plunder him anymore during the full moon nights.  
  
He doesn't know what this thing is between them. Kurogane refuses to let him leave. But Kurogane also brings him paints, he brings Fai brushes and papers and pretty things, and sometimes, Fai looks at the pile of gifts next to his door, glimmering and sparkling and... enticing.  
  
The more Kurogane visits and speaks with him, the more Fai struggles to hold onto the grudge from all these years.  
  
Kurogane has raped him. Several times. He's taken apart Fai's dignity, he's cost Fai his tongue. Speech. Taste. Food rarely tastes good anymore.  
  
But Kurogane has treated him with respect these past months. He hasn't touched Fai at all, and he seems... apologetic. He's let Fai hit him.  
  
The more times Kurogane visits, the more Fai struggles to remember the monster he can become. And the more Fai has to tell his heart to stop skipping a beat whenever Kurogane's silhouette darkens his door.  
  
Kurogane is a beast. The moment Fai lets his guard down, Kurogane will revert back to his past self. Fai will not have any more defenses against him.  
  
And yet the knock comes on Fai's door. Fai taps twice—it's become a habit by now. And the door slides open, the young master searching Fai out with his gaze. He's tall, broad-shouldered, his footsteps thudding as he makes his way across the room, taking their usual spot next to the bed.  
  
Fai doesn't want to admit that he looks forward to these visits, that he wishes Kurogane would come every day, instead of every two days. He wishes... that maybe Kurogane would sit closer. He wishes that Kurogane would maybe... notice him. Instead of the paintings.  
  
He wishes that Kurogane would touch him.  
  
His instincts tell him all of this is wrong.  
  
Fai pulls out the stack of paintings he's picked out to show Kurogane today. Kurogane flips through them one by one—some of Fai's very best work, full of detail and color and light and shadow.  
  
Kurogane pauses at a painting of Fai, his lips parted, his hair almost reaching his shoulder. He's looking at the painting, and he trails his fingers down along Fai's jaw. Fai's heart aches, just imagining that touch.  
  
He hasn't been caressed in a long time. Toward the end, even Kurogane's monthly visits—they weren't so bad. Mostly because Fai got to feel Kurogane's skin against his own, as much as he hated it. He'd felt the pressure of Kurogane's body, he'd felt... needed. Just for a few minutes.  
  
After, he always felt like he'd been used and cast aside.  
  
So Fai doesn't know what to do. He remembers hearing about people being in love, people touching each other, just kissing. It doesn't feel like he'll ever have any of that with Kurogane.  
  
He folds his fingers together and looks down, hating himself for wanting this. For wanting Kurogane to look at him.  
  
"What's wrong?" Kurogane asks.  
  
Fai stiffens. He didn't think Kurogane was looking at _him._ He shakes his head quickly.  
  
Kurogane reaches out. He almost touches Fai, except he stops. And Fai wants to hold his hand, he wants to put Kurogane's palm on him, everywhere. Except... he doesn't know if it'll turn Kurogane into a beast.  
  
If it does... will it matter? When Fai needs to be touched so much, the thought of it makes his throat go dry?  
  
He reaches out and grabs Kurogane's hand before he hesitates. The heat of it burns into his skin. Then he pulls it closer, and plants it on his chest.  
  
Kurogane's touch is warm, glorious.  
  
Kurogane hisses and snatches his hand back. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Immediately after, Fai's cheeks scorch. He turns away and scrambles back from Kurogane, ashamed of his own need.  
  
When Kurogane next speaks, his voice has turned gravelly. "I'm leaving," he says. "I'll see you in two days."  
  
Fai closes his eyes, heat thumping through his body. His pants have grown tight—his body reacts the same way whenever Kurogane fucks him. He doesn't know how to tell Kurogane what he wants.  
  
Or maybe he does. But...  
  
Fai bites his lip, embarrassment scorching through his face. There's a way to tell Kurogane. Fai fumbles amongst his things for some paper. Then he grabs his brush, mixes up some skin pigments, and begins to paint.  
  
.  
  
Kurogane arrives late two days later. Fai doesn't know if Kurogane has just been held up by something, or if it's because of last week. When Kurogane settles down in his usual spot, Fai shoves a stack of paintings at him.  
  
The first few are things he's painted over the years. Flowers, birds, people. Fai holds his breath as Kurogane flips through the paintings, appreciation in his eyes.  
  
Then Kurogane lands on the first of the new paintings—Fai's bare back, the sheets pooled around his waist.  
  
Kurogane freezes, his breath hitching. Does he... want Fai? Fai can't breathe. He waits for Kurogane to turn the page, but Kurogane doesn't.  
  
So Fai reaches over, pulling away that first painting. The second is of himself, completely naked, his legs spread open, his hand wrapped tight around his flushed cock.  
  
Kurogane's eyes grow wide. He shoves the paintings at Fai, his breathing growing ragged, his chest heaving. "What the hell is this?"  
  
He makes to stand, but Fai's watching his hips. There's a bulge growing between his legs. Kurogane wants him. And maybe he might get touched today.  
  
Fai lunges for him, grabbing a fistful of Kurogane's trousers. Kurogane's eyes flash. "Stop it," he hisses. "I'm not doing that to you again."  
  
But Fai needs so much that he's desperate for Kurogane's touch. Any way he can get it. He yanks his own shirt up, shoving his pants down, showing Kurogane his own cock.  
  
Kurogane swears and turns, and he's striding away, toward the door, his rejection such a slap to Fai's face that Fai's heart sinks.  
  
"Pehs," Fai croaks. It's supposed to be _Please_ , but he can't make the right sounds without his tongue. "Lor—"  
  
He sounds so terrible that he almost cries. Kurogane turns, locking his eyes on Fai's face. "What?"  
  
"Pehs," Fai says again. He spreads his legs, his cock straining, his dignity... well. There's nothing left of that, anyway. "Hus me." _Touch me._  
  
Kurogane stares. "You... can speak?"  
  
Fai bites his lips shut, terrified and hungry and ashamed, and he doesn't know what to do.  
  
Slowly, Kurogane steps closer. Fai doesn't dare to hope. He watches as Kurogane takes another step, then another, and he crouches down in front of Fai, gaze locked on his face. Fai blinks the wetness in his eyes away.  
  
"What do you want?" Kurogane asks softly.  
  
Fai glances down between his legs, and back up. Like it isn't obvious.  
  
"I shouldn't." Kurogane looks angry with himself.  
  
Fai spreads his legs wider. It doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong. His need doesn't know that distinction. "Pehs."  
  
Kurogane meets his eyes. Ever so slowly, he cups Fai's neck and leans in, and brushes their mouths together in the gentlest kiss. Sparks go all the way down Fai's body; his breath rushes out of him.  
  
"Okay?" Kurogane asks.  
  
Fai nods, leaning closer, trying to kiss him. He doesn't know how a kiss is supposed to work. But Kurogane presses their mouths flush together, and it's an electric feeling, all soft and intimate. Fai groans. Kurogane kisses him harder, his fingers sliding down Fai's arm, all the way to his hand. Then he touches Fai's cock, just a faint caress. Pleasure jolts down Fai's spine. He arches, panting, the sensation so different from his own touch that he can't think.  
  
A low growl rumbles from Kurogane's chest. He wraps his fist around Fai's cock and pumps, and Fai's eyes roll back in his head, his balls pulling tight, every ounce of his being focused on Kurogane touching him there.  
  
He can't hold on for long. Kurogane strokes him firm and slow, and Fai leaks, the tension building in his body, swelling into a crescendo faster than he can think. Sounds leave his mouth. He throws his head back as he comes, a bright-white explosion that rocks through his body, yanking spurt after spurt of come out through his cock.  
  
Kurogane wraps an arm around him, just holding him as he comes down from that climax. When Fai can think again, he finds Kurogane pressed close against himself, his face just inches away, his hand still between Fai's legs, just holding him there.  
  
"Okay?" Kurogane asks again.  
  
Fai freezes, the enormity of what they've done crashing down on him. He's let Kurogane see him. Kurogane has touched him. And kissed him.  
  
He yelps and scrambles away, except he's already pressed up against the foot of the bed with nowhere to go. Kurogane releases him. Fai regrets it instantly—he wants more of Kurogane's touch. Of the press of his body, and his warmth.  
  
Fai bites his lip, torn.  
  
"Hey." Kurogane reaches for him, slowly shuffling closer. He grasps Fai's jaw gently. "Open your mouth."  
  
Why would he—Fai clamps his mouth so tightly shut that nothing will get him to open it. Kurogane has seen how desperate Fai can be. Fai doesn't need to show him the stump, too.  
  
Kurogane frowns, but he releases Fai. Then he leans his forehead against Fai's temple, and just breathes.  
  
"I'm sorry," Kurogane says.  
  
Fai doesn't know what he's sorry for, but he doesn't want to ask. He shakes his head, nudging Kurogane away. Maybe Kurogane won't return again now that he understands how twisted Fai is.  
  
But Kurogane wraps his arms around Fai and holds him, and his solid chest feels so good that Fai lets himself lean in, just a little. So he can memorize what this feels like.  
  
Then, since he may as well be hanged for a sheep, Fai buries his face in the crook of Kurogane's shoulder, breathing in the scent of his skin. Kurogane smells good.  
  
Kurogane's breath catches. He holds still and doesn't move for a while. Fai doesn't mind. He closes his eyes and pretends that everything in his life is going as it should. Maybe he trusts Kurogane a little bit. Maybe he doesn't mind if Kurogane becomes a monster again.  
  
A long while later, Kurogane finally moves. "I have to see to the clan," Kurogane says. He pauses for a bit. Then, "Do you want to move into the main wing? With me."  
  
Fai stares. And his stomach drops. What would the elders do if Kurogane told them his decision? Would they cut off more parts from Fai? To prove how unworthy Fai is?  
  
He shakes his head so hard that he almost sprains his neck.  
  
"Okay, stay here. That's fine." Kurogane makes to stand. Fai follows him up, still drunk on that warmth from his chest. He follows Kurogane to the door, his clothes disheveled, his body so relaxed that he wants Kurogane to return tomorrow. For more of this.  
  
At the door, Kurogane studies him. Then he brushes Fai's jaw with his knuckles, and presses a kiss to his forehead. Fai blushes. He doesn't know what _that's_ supposed to mean.  
  
"I'll be back in two days," Kurogane says.  
  
Two days can't go by quickly enough.  
  
.  
  
The days pass, Kurogane's visits ending up with Fai wearing fewer clothes each time. Kurogane brings him off in a variety of ways—he uses his mouth, he uses his hands, he makes Fai bend over and kisses Fai's entrance, all the while stroking him. Fai doesn't know what to do with all that pleasure. He only knows the breathless tension, he only knows Kurogane's lips on his skin, his tongue sliding down Fai's length, his teeth nipping little biting trails across Fai's inner thighs.  
  
Three weeks pass, and Kurogane pleasures him every single visit. He learns Fai's body, he finds all the little secret spots that make Fai arch. More often than not, Fai cries out, Kurogane's mouth doing magical delightful things to him.  
  
But he doesn't let Fai return the favor. Fai doesn't know how, anyway. Maybe he could with his hands, but... that's about it.  
  
"I need to leave for a few days," Kurogane says, looking apologetic. "It's almost the full moon. I've delayed as long as I could."  
  
Fai's heart sinks. He almost asks Kurogane to stay. Kurogane knows him intimately now, anyway. But that's when Kurogane is himself, and... Kurogane's a different person on full moons.  
  
But Kurogane hasn't given Fai his cock in a long time, either. Fai squirms, glancing down at Kurogane's hips. Then he reaches down and squeezes Kurogane between the legs, pointedly. Kurogane narrows his eyes, pulling away from Fai's touch. "I'm not doing that to you again."  
  
Fai can't help feeling disappointed. Kurogane frowns. "You... want that?"  
  
It's the same man, it's the same cock, but... Fai wants to know. How different is it when he wants it, and when Kurogane remembers it? So he nods.  
  
Kurogane growls, slipping his palm against Fai's neck. He pulls Fai in for a kiss, his soft tongue trailing along Fai's lips, seeking entrance. Fai has never let him inside. He doesn't want Kurogane to be horrified at what he'd find. He leans back and pushes his hand into Kurogane's pants, groaning when he finds Kurogane's half-hard cock. Kurogane's breath punches out of him.  
  
He's always grown hard whenever he touches Fai. Fai has seen Kurogane's bulge multiple times, his cock straining against the fabric, and sometimes there's a damp spot at his tip. But this is the first time that silky length caresses his palm, warm and hungry. Fai moans.  
  
"You sound good," Kurogane murmurs, backing him up against the bed. He stays still and lets Fai strip him. He lets Fai run his hands up under his shirt—Kurogane's pecs are delightful, his abs firm, inviting touch. He's strong. And Fai wants to be pinned beneath him, he wants the ride to go on longer than the few minutes he's received in the past.  
  
He pulls down Kurogane's pants, enough to let his straining length jut out. When it does, Fai's insides grow hot, his own cock grows thick.  
  
"You like this," Kurogane breathes.  
  
Fai doesn't answer him. He sinks down onto the bed and leans in, rubbing his face against Kurogane's cock. Trusting him to be kind.  
  
Then he kisses Kurogane's length, he caresses it and sniffs at it, and it's all musky, growing harder, wanting to push inside. Fai's breath rushes out of him. He crawls onto the bed and squirms out of his clothes, and he pulls out the bottle of oil Kurogane brought a few days ago.  
  
Kurogane's breath hisses out of him. He takes the bottle from Fai, touching Fai's ass lightly. "You're sure."  
  
Fai kicks his pants aside and spreads his legs wider, and he knows that Kurogane can see his hole now, all exposed, waiting for him.  
  
Kurogane swears. He leans in, kissing Fai between his cheeks. Then he licks Fai there, right over his hole. "I'm going inside," Kurogane whispers. And he pushes his tongue into Fai—a soft, damp point. Fai tenses, surprised by that entrance. He didn't expect Kurogane to use his _tongue_.  
  
Kurogane licks inside him. He withdraws, pushes a slow finger in, then pulls out. The oil bottle snaps open. When Kurogane touches him again, his fingers are slick. Then he pushes two into Fai, and Fai's breath catches in his throat. He hasn't had anything inside him for a long while. His body threatens to panic. But he breathes it out, slowly, and leans into Kurogane's touch, encouraging him. Begging for more.  
  
"Sure?" Kurogane asks again. Fai growls and pushes himself all the way down on Kurogane's fingers, and Kurogane curses. He kicks off his pants and prowls closer. Fai raises his ass up high, so there's no way for Kurogane to doubt what he needs. Kurogane slicks himself up and his tip kisses Fai's hole, and Fai stops breathing, at the same time Kurogane eases himself inside, spreading Fai, sliding in.  
  
Fai moans, taking him. Unlike before, Kurogane's entrance is slow, careful, every thrust deliberate. Fai's body reacts to his presence, his cock aching, leaking a line of precome from his tip. "More," Fai tries to say.  
  
Kurogane hisses. And his next thrust has him sinking in all the way, lighting up Fai's nerves. It feels so much better than before. Slowly, Kurogane begins to thrust inside him, an intimate touch that grinds pleasure through Fai's nerves, over and over, winding the need up in his body so he trembles and squeezes, struggling for breath. But it feels so good.  
  
Kurogane leans in, his chest pressed against Fai's back, and he rolls his hips, massaging Fai inside, until Fai shudders and he reaches down, pumping his cock to chase his pleasure. Kurogane nudges his hand away and does it himself, his calluses scraping down Fai's cock, over his balls, then stroking back up to his tip.  
  
It's a gentle sort of joining, and Fai receives his lord, over and over, until he shudders and tumbles over the edge, clenching hard around Kurogane.  
  
Kurogane begins to withdraw. Fai holds him, pulling him back. What he doesn't expect is for Kurogane to pull out and flip him onto his back, so their eyes meet. "More?" Kurogane asks.  
  
Fai nods. Kurogane swears and slides back in, and his entrance sends a jolt up Fai's spine. Fai cries out. Kurogane thrusts a little deeper. A little harder. His expression changes from one of concentration to pleasure, and his eyes darken, his strokes going deeper, wilder. Fai groans and takes him, and squeezes until Kurogane swears, emptying himself inside Fai.  
  
Kurogane pants, kissing him on the lips. Fai doesn't know what to think of it. This intimacy. They aren't... lovers. But he likes Kurogane's presence, he likes spending time with Kurogane these days. He likes when Kurogane admires him. When Kurogane's eyes darken when Fai comes, when Kurogane splays his hand across Fai's chest, and it's just... them.  
  
Kurogane regains his breath, brushing his thumb across Fai's lips. Then he parts Fai's lips gently, easing his finger between Fai's teeth. He nudges Fai's jaw down.  
  
It's too late when Fai realizes what he's doing. His throat closes; he snaps his jaw shut, biting Kurogane's finger.  
  
Kurogane's eyes narrow—he's seen the stump. Fai's stomach drops. He turns away and scrambles for some sheets to hide himself.  
  
"What happened?" Kurogane asks.  
  
Fai shrugs. Kurogane catches him by the arm and turns him around, and his expression is shrewd now, angry. "You know who did this to you."  
  
Fai looks away. He doesn't know how to say it. Kurogane's probably far more loyal to his elders than he is to Fai.  
  
"You're coming to live in the main wing with me," Kurogane growls, pulling Fai closer, looking so determined that Fai might've smiled if the situation weren't so dire.  
  
Fai shakes his head, trying to squirm away. He can't move there. The elders will dispose of him.  
  
"Fai." Kurogane turns him around, forcing their eyes to meet. "Tell me."  
  
There's no way Fai can tell him, not without major consequences. He looks away, and Kurogane glances around the room. He studies the bed and Fai's clothes—Fai has been wearing the clothes Kurogane bought him, instead of what the elders have supplied him with.  
  
Slowly, Kurogane says, "The elders put you here."  
  
Fai looks at his feet.  
  
"They knew I chose you," Kurogane continues, his tone ferocious. "And they never told me until I fucking asked." He grasps Fai's jaw, his touch gentle despite his anger. "They did this to you."  
  
Fai's heart stops. If Kurogane goes to confront them... What will happen?  
  
Kurogane swears, yanking on his clothes. Fai scrambles to stop him, shaking his head wildly.  
  
"Why not?" Kurogane growls.  
  
Fai draws a line across his throat.  
  
"They'll kill you?"  
  
It's a possibility. Fai shrugs, his heart thumping.  
  
"Then you're coming with me." Kurogane's eyes burn. He pulls on his clothes, he makes sure Fai's properly dressed. Then he catches Fai's hand and tugs him through the compounds—places that used to be familiar, once upon a time.  
  
Kurogane brings them to the main wing of the compound. He strides down hallways, pulling Fai into a room that's vaguely familiar—his own bedroom. But instead of stripping, Kurogane goes to a stand and takes down a sheathed sword, securing it to his waist. Fai fidgets nervously, wondering if he should be worrying for Kurogane's life, instead.  
  
When Kurogane's ready, he takes Fai's hand and storms out of the bedroom, the aura around him blazing. He slams his way into the clan halls, where the elders are having a meeting.  
  
His grandfather—the leader of them—looks up sharply with a disapproving frown. He sees Kurogane. Then he sees Fai, and his frown twists into repulsion. "What is the meaning of this?"  
  
"As the leader of the clan, I'm sending you into exile," Kurogane says.  
  
His grandfather stares. "What do you mean, exile? You don't have that kind of power."  
  
"Hell yes, I do." Kurogane only releases Fai when they're paces away from the elders. "I've just been letting you guide me where it comes to clan matters. But you've just been a poison. That ends now."  
  
The clan elders stand with a rattle of chairs, protests rising from their lips. Kurogane ignores them. "You've denied me my mate for years. You _cut off his tongue_ like a barbarian, and you expect me to listen?"  
  
"He's just a servant," his grandfather retorts.  
  
"He's my _mate._ " Kurogane's anger ripples off him in waves. For the first time, Fai's glad that it isn't directed at himself. "What part of that don't you understand?"  
  
"You will find better," his grandfather says, commanding.  
  
Kurogane draws his sword. "No. And I'm gonna give you a choice. Exile, or I cut off your tongue _and_ your hands, or death."  
  
His grandfather's mustache quivers. "You don't have that power over the elders. You aren't mated yet."  
  
Kurogane's jaw tightens. And Fai realizes what he has to do. "Kuh," Fai says. Maybe one day he'll pronounce Kurogane's name better, but that time is not now.  
  
He tilts his head sideways, offering his neck. Kurogane's gaze scorches; he stalks back, his eyes burning. "You're sure."  
  
Fai nods. Kurogane has proven himself, over and over. Kurogane swears and steps behind him, biting hard into the crook of Fai's neck—hard enough that pain shoots through Fai, and blood wells up on his skin.  
  
Quick as anything, Kurogane slices his own wrist and brushes his blood with Fai's, mixing them.  
  
A low thrum of _something_ races through Fai's body. Marking him as Kurogane's. And Kurogane growls, the bond between them pulling like a taut string.  
  
Kurogane looks back at the elders. "I'm the head of the Suwa clan now. You will obey my orders."  
  
His grandfather shouts for the guards. Kurogane strides up to him and thrusts the tip of his sword into the old man's mouth, and blood pours out. Fai makes himself look—only because he needs to know that Kurogane will step out of this alive.  
  
The other elders shout. Kurogane grabs them and cuts off their tongues, too. And Fai doesn't feel sorry for them at all.  
  
"You've become a burden on the clan," Kurogane announces as the first of the guards rush in. "You will all be exiled. I want nothing to do with you from this point forward."  
  
Then he returns to Fai's side and holds Fai's hand, and Fai feels the tremble running through Kurogane's body, the violence that threatens to erupt.  
  
He squeezes Kurogane's hand. Offers a tiny smile. Kurogane meets his eyes and leans in, and he kisses Fai fiercely on the mouth.  
  
"Mine," Kurogane growls. "No one will hurt you again."  
  
Fai believes him. And he trusts Kurogane completely, even with their history, even with everything that has happened. He bows his head—a gesture of submission.  
  
They might not know each other so well, him and Kurogane. But as the scene unfolds, and as Kurogane gives orders to his guards, Fai realizes that he has forgiven Kurogane. That he trusts this man to remain by his side, that he trusts Kurogane not to hurt him again.  
  
With the last of the clan's shadows being cleared away... maybe there'll be a place for him here after all. A place where he can spread his wings, and a place where he can return home to roost, at the end of everything.  
  
Kurogane meets his gaze, a promise in his smile.  
  
Fai's hopes for their future blossoms.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far.... well. Thank you for reading! I gotta get back to actual work now :)


End file.
